Letter from Lindy May 16

A Letter from Lindy⠀

“The soul is in God and God in the soul, just as
the fish is in the sea and the sea in the fish.”
St. Catherine of Siena

The above quote has been my breathing prayer as I have sat vigil alongside Lanny’s hospital bed this week. I kept groping for God amidst the sea of doctors and tests and information and medical jargon, feeling like a fish swimming upstream. I just wanted God to breathe a flicker of peace into my soul, just to know they were there amidst. That this blind-sided craziness in which we found ourselves wasn’t happening outside of God. It is disconcerting to be a pastor on the other side of this experience, as one who is used to helping others navigate these waters, now finds herself in them.

I cannot convey the genuine love and deep gratitude I feel for all of you who have reached back by text and email and through Felix. We feel your presence and your prayers. Please keep them coming as I want to create a holy force-field around my beloved husband that radiates in sacred energy and fiercely guards against all that is not. Please know all of your offers to help us in any way possible are stored in my basket where I treasure them even as I don’t yet have a response. We don’t know what is before us, so as I shared with Ami, I don’t even know how to formulate the questions to ask. Just know that your care is deeply felt and held in both our hearts.

Lanny is now home as I write this note. Resting, for he is exhausted. Even with the compassionate care he received throughout, sleep was not part of the protocol with the intervals in which the medical staff needed to attend to him. My prayer is that he sleeps through the weekend, so we are fortified for the road ahead.

Not surprising as I prayed our gospel text throughout this week that within its words I could feel God’s gentle touch. No coincidence because I was reading Jesus’ prayer to/for/with the disciples as he tried to prepare them for ministry, wanting them to trust in God and each other. His prayer seemed to be reminding them one last time that they would do even greater things than He had. And the disciples, he believed, needed to be reminded that they did not belong to the world, but were sanctified and protected - all for the purpose of glorifying God.

I think that’s the beauty we don’t want to miss in this prayer. The beauty of one person in ministry being transparent in their love and expectation of others. Jesus is modeling what vulnerability can look like, giving us a template for how to be in relationship. I felt God’s nudge for me to cling to this memory of what it looks like to love and intercede for each other. I pray we will do so together going forward.

grace and peace,
Pastor Lindy
(she/her) why pronouns matter

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