A Letter from Lindy Dec 17
Beloved Pilgrims,
My heart feels a pang this year as we have let one of our Advent rituals retire without much fanfare. Not surprising as it was probably our least attended service. And yet, it has been one of my favorites since I stepped into this role. For a few reasons–the ecumenical nature of our gathering and the sacred space created for people who just need a moment to step off the merry, jolly Christmas circuit to pause and touch feelings that might be other than festive. Yes, I’m talking about our joint Longest Night Worship with St. Paul Lutheran, Epworth Methodist and First Presbyterian churches. When I reached out to my colleagues before Thanksgiving, there was ennui and resignation in their responses with an overlay of the question why. Why undertake the planning and coordination of a worship service that draws but a handful of folks from four respective communities.
Disappointed was I with the lackluster responses, although understanding the reasons for quietly putting our collective effort to bed. I don’t know if it will be forever or just this year. Confessionally, I feel a profound sense of loss in its absence. My reminiscing brought forth yearly images of the pastors standing together at the conclusion of each service, wondering why more people were not drawn into this worship’s embrace, knowing our people and all they carry in their hearts. And then quickly remarking, regardless of attendance, it is our favorite worship service of the season.
I get it. We have excavated our hearts on the subject of grief this year. Pilgrim, more than our colleagues, who undertook an extraordinary venture in embracing my sabbatical hope and vision. So to ask you to keep going feels like when my muscles are screaming as my trainer pushes me for one more set, “nice push, nice push” as I’m collapsing.
But here’s what I know today. I need to allow my heart, mind and soul to go through the paces of this ritual, even if they are resistant and reluctant. And I will be grateful when I do. When I open space for the emotions I am feeling that do not rise to the surface in shared company. I wonder about you? Believing some might appreciate an opportunity to hold the breadth of their emotional landscape before the Holy, I have created an “at home” worship experience that you can engage privately, with trusted companions or however it feels right. You can create space on Thursday, December 21 to honor the winter solstice or pick another day/night that meets your need and calendar. The link to the worship service is here.
If you opened the link, then I imagine you are seeking some quiet space. Whether you have experienced loss or grief, whether you are burned out or afraid, I pray this space and time for you. Bring your grief. Bring your weariness. Bring your fatigue, and allow yourself time to reflect and draw near to God. My prayer is that this ritual can bring you one step closer to Advent’s hope.
May you find peace in your journey.
Pastor Lindy (she/her) why pronouns matter
How does a weary world rejoice? We find joy in connection.